While writing this post I was actually on my bed, in my comforter, holding my bb and looking so damn miserable. Since start cuti hari tu my life been so empty. Serious tak tau nak buat ape. And living in this house. . . Making me feel as if I'm all alone in this world. Serious shit I am!
Mama seems to not talking to me unless there are other people in this house. I guess she's still piss off with 'it'. Alahai. . . Nak buat macam mane lagi ni. Its my heart. Its my life. Its me who have the decision. Its me who will end up forever alone. And she's my mom. All she ever wanted is for me to end up with a great person.
P/s: kill me pls
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
I Don't Wanna FACE It
Today the result for one of the subject I took is out. I know its going to be damn sucks. But deep down I really really really hope it will be fine. Unfortunately it does not. And I still remember that night where a drama took place. Dalam banyak2 masa time tu la drama nak jadik. Malam before exam supposedly semua orang be prepared for the last minute preparation while me? Instead of focus kt study, I was busy handling my personal life.
Ya Allah..tuhan je yg tahu how I felt that night. Being bombarded by mama regarding 'that' thingy. I called mama sbb nak mintak restu supaya dapat doakan me the best for exam and in a split of second, semangat nak jawab exam tu hancus!! I was crying like hell calling sis and him. Try to figure out what the hell had actually happened. And end up being sleepy dlm exam hall sebab tak cukup tidur the night before.
So. . . Back to the topic, the result is out. And guess what? I got to sit for the same paper in the next semester. Naissss!! Who should I THANK to? Hmmm. I don't mind repeating the subject. Walaupun ni first time dalam hidup kena repeat but I don't mind sincerely. What I DO mind is when I have to face 'that' FACE again. For the rest of the semester. And it is SUCKS. Dear lil brainy and heart. . . Be strong will you? Hmmm.
Ya Allah..tuhan je yg tahu how I felt that night. Being bombarded by mama regarding 'that' thingy. I called mama sbb nak mintak restu supaya dapat doakan me the best for exam and in a split of second, semangat nak jawab exam tu hancus!! I was crying like hell calling sis and him. Try to figure out what the hell had actually happened. And end up being sleepy dlm exam hall sebab tak cukup tidur the night before.
So. . . Back to the topic, the result is out. And guess what? I got to sit for the same paper in the next semester. Naissss!! Who should I THANK to? Hmmm. I don't mind repeating the subject. Walaupun ni first time dalam hidup kena repeat but I don't mind sincerely. What I DO mind is when I have to face 'that' FACE again. For the rest of the semester. And it is SUCKS. Dear lil brainy and heart. . . Be strong will you? Hmmm.
If only. . .
My life never been this complicated ever! If I tell you the truth nothing but the truth, you gonna feel like vomiting out due to how extremely devastating complicated my life is! I'm not lying. Cause lil brainy and dear heart are suffocating inside my body! *sigh*
If only I know what is the right thing to do. If only I have the answers to all my questions. If only. . . I can have all the things I wanted and be satisfied with it. Unfortunately, 'if' is not helping me. my life is tearing apart right now. Must. Do. Something. FAST!!!!!!
"Dear tomorrow,
I'm not hoping for sunshine.
The rain would be just fine.
As it washes away yesterday.
And let the pain running through the drain"
If only I know what is the right thing to do. If only I have the answers to all my questions. If only. . . I can have all the things I wanted and be satisfied with it. Unfortunately, 'if' is not helping me. my life is tearing apart right now. Must. Do. Something. FAST!!!!!!
"Dear tomorrow,
I'm not hoping for sunshine.
The rain would be just fine.
As it washes away yesterday.
And let the pain running through the drain"
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