Happy Birthday dear missy. You know what should you do on your birthday? Be wiser, be stronger, grow up, wipe away those tears, put up a happy smile and cherish all that you already have. Be thankful will you.

Aku Kosong

Today was the day I had a major breakdown. Refused to do anything. Just spent my entire daylight in my room, on my bed with a head on the pillow. Can you imagine, the whole day I was either sleeping or refuse to use my heart neither head. Dah terasa macam tengah puasa pulak. Tak makan satu benda pun. Just minum air kosong yg memang selalu ada kt my side table.

Actually I'm thinking of doing lots of things to distract myself. Tapi tak tau la. Tak cukup kuat kot. So I end up stuck in the room feeling so empty. Bilik ni bersepah sebenarnya sebab daripada balik hari tu kemas sikit-sikit je. But I don't know. It still feel empty. Hmmmmm. . ."The hardest thing about moving on is not wanting to".

Hear My Heart will you

While writing this post I was actually on my bed, in my comforter, holding my bb and looking so damn miserable. Since start cuti hari tu my life been so empty. Serious tak tau nak buat ape. And living in this house. . . Making me feel as if I'm all alone in this world. Serious shit I am!

Mama seems to not talking to me unless there are other people in this house. I guess she's still piss off with 'it'. Alahai. . . Nak buat macam mane lagi ni. Its my heart. Its my life. Its me who have the decision. Its me who will end up forever alone. And she's my mom. All she ever wanted is for me to end up with a great person.

P/s: kill me pls